Dear Single Boys of New York City,
If you are interested in speaking with me at a bar, please do not begin the conversation by insulting my necklace and poking fun at my “oatmeal-colored socks.” Furthermore, I would advise that you not run off and immediately begin speaking with the next and nearest thing with lady parts when I do not respond to you. Your desperation to “connect” with a woman could not be any clearer.
Proud of my oatmeal-colored socks
That is all.